WRITING ASSIGNMENT: DESCRIPTIVE TEXT
This assignment is intended to improve your writing skill. You are expected to be actively posting your comments on your friends' writing along with your version of descriptive text. Good luck and have fun of writing.
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Writing Assignment: Descriptive Text
Posted by Bagus Mantra
make sure your text is unified and coherent. You probably need to describe more detail about the object rather just explaining in general
ReplyDeleteIt seems this descriptive is not really unified. What do you think? any comment? can you fix it.
ReplyDeletestudy this text carefully!
The Beautiful Kuta Bali
Kuta is the exciting tourist area on the southern part of Bali. It is located in southwestern Bali, just minutes from the airport.Kuta is one of the world’s most famous beaches. It first attracted Western surfers with its world renowned surf break followed closely behind by sun worshipers and party goers attracted to its wide stretches of white sandy beach.
Kuta, In addition to being the sunset site number one, is also the center of night life activities. Kuta has a shopping mecca, with its lines of shops, boutiques, and galleries. Restaurants line up the streets as well as the beachfront hotels, ranging from a small, inexpensive homestay to a luxurious resort
There are many night clubs along Jalan Legian and Jalan Pantai Kuta. The busiest time for all night clubs are around from 22:00 and will close until down. You will find Kuta is one of interesting place to visit in Bali.
(Wayan Arjunaya)
In my opinion, the descriptive text which is titled “The Beautiful Kuta Bali” above is very interesting and good enough. However, it will be better if the writer be careful in positioning the words and also in using the sentence structure in order to make the text more coherent. I think the title of this text should be changed to “The Beautiful of Kuta-Bali”. Between adjective and noun must added preposition ‘of ‘and “Kuta Bali” is not one meaning, so the correct is “Kuta-Bali”. The word “of Bali” in first sentence must be “of Bali island” to make more detail. The second sentence should be “It is located in the southwestern of Bali island and it just take few minutes from the airport. In the fourth sentence is quite difficult to understand but I think the writer wanted to tell about what things can make the beach become the famous beach in the world. So, I think the sentence must be” Kuta beach has the renowned surf site and wide stretches of white sandy beach which are loved by Western surfers, sun worshipers and party goers. In the first sentence of the second paragraph must be “In addition, Kuta is being the sunset site number one. It is also the center of night life activities. The word “Jalan” also should be in English “street”. In the third paragraph, the second sentence will be better if it is changed to “The busiest time for all night clubs are start from 10.00 p.m. until down (early morning). So, that’s all about my comment about this text.
DeleteI have one descriptive text about Sukawati market which is very simple and easy to understand. Actually my text is not really better that the text “The Beautiful Kuta Beach” but I do hope the reader will understand the content of the text.
Sukawati Market
Sukawati is one of the famous traditional markets in Bali. It is located in Gianyar regency which is well known as the center of art. It is about 14 km from Denpasar. Sukawati market is very busy and crowded everyday especially in the morning start from 04.00 a.m. until 10.00 a.m. when people (mainly women) sell and buy all kinds of goods such as: all kinds of foods, clothes, ceremonial implements and so on. The traffic situation is quite smoothly because there is a police office near the market so the market always be guarded and secured every day. Around the Sukawati market, there are some art markets which are the place where the artists sell handicrafts at reasonable prices. Mostly it is visited by art shop owners and hawkers who look for handicraft to be reseller again. Sukawati traditional market is become one of tourism destination in Bali. A lot of tourists want to visit Sukawati market to get the cheaper price than others. The unique of Sukawati market is almost all of the local people there have the ability in the art, so many of them sell their artworks which are very famous as the best and complete one in Bali.
(Ni Kadek Nika Hana - The student of UNMAS-DPS)
DeleteBased on my opinion The Beautiful Kuta Bali text is very good, but the sentence “Kuta is the exciting tourist area on the southern part of Bali” can be simpled more to be “Kuta is the exciting tourist area in Bali”. And It’s more better the first sentence in description text explain about place, in the context “Kuta” in general, moreover the paragraph is very clear to explain “Kuta” in specific view.
I have descriptive text about my favorite singer. Actually my writing is not good yet. I hope my descriptive text can be understand by readers.
G-Dragon
Kwon Jiyong or also known as G-Dragon or GD was born on August, 18 1988 in Seoul, South Korea. He is a rapper, singer,lyricist,producer,dancer, and the leader of Korean boyband “Bigbang”.He is 28 years old now.He’s 173 cm tall and his weight is 58 kg.He has brown eyes.He has black straight hair but sometimes he change his hair style.He dyed his into many colors such as blonde,green,yellow,purple,grey,and etc.He has sharp nose,white skin and beauty smile.His blood type is A.G-Dragon loves dog very much. He has dog named Gaho.G-dragon personality is very kind, professional,and tidy. He is perfectionist too, he always make sure that everything going well and come out perfectly.
G-Dragon started to be a singer when he was 13 years old. He wanted to be known as a rapper in the future.His band has one album, and two mini albums.Together with his group mates, he is success now. Now he try to be solo singer and released song title “Heartbreaker”. He got platinum award for this first solo album.His songs Heartbreaker stayed in the top of Korean music chart for five weeks.And he awarded with Best Korean Singer of the Year.
In my opinion The Beautiful Kuta Bali text actually can be managed to be a great text if it can rearrange by the writer. The sentence 'Kuta is one of the world’s most famous beaches' I think the writer can change it to 'Kuta beach is one of the famous beaches in the world' maybe it will supported the main topic about Kuta and it will make clear what the most famous beaches? Kuta or Kuta Beach. And don't forget to give space after the full stop. For the sentence 'It first attracted Western surfers with its world renowned surf break followed closely behind by sun worshipers and party goers attracted to its wide stretches of white sandy beach.' made me felt difficult to understand what the writer means. if the writer means that sentence to explain about how that beach can make the surfers attracted to go to that place maybe that sentece can be made to 'Kuta Beach known by the western surfers as the renowned surf site, the good place for doing sunbathing and attracted people because of its white sand' for more make the reader understand.The sentence 'Kuta, In addition to being the sunset site number one, is also the center of night life activities.' can be 'Kuta is the sunset site number one; in addition, Kuta is the center of night life activities'. the sentence 'Kuta has a shopping mecca, with its lines of shops, boutiques, and galleries.' maybe it will be better if changed to 'Kuta has a shopping site which is include of shops, boutiques and galleries.' to make the reader more understand about it. It just my opinion based on my comprehension of that text. (Ayu Sri Wahyuni S.Putri - The student of UNMAS DPS)
ReplyDeleteI have one descriptive text about cat. Maybe this text is not really better than The Beautiful Kuta Bali text, but this text will make the readers understand about what the writer want to explain, it's the main point or the readers will know what the descriptive is.
ReplyDeleteTurkish Angora
Cat is one of pets which is very chummy with human. There are many kinds of cat, one of them is Turkish Angora. This cat is from Turkey, especially at Angora/Ankara city. Angora has soft and smooth fur. The growth of its fur is very unique, when summer come the fur disposed to be shorter and winter the fur disposed to be luxuriant. The body of Angora is longer than the Persia one. Angora has medium size of head with pointed nose and has blue or yellow eyes, but the cat which has blue eyes usually deaf. Angora’s tail commonly long and has thick fur. When Angora walks, this cat will cause its tail to go down or bring its tail closer to its head. Its ears is big and pointed with the thick fur on its ears. Angora can be chum quickly with the other animals and kids, so the owner doesn’t have to apprehensive about this cat will be suddenly claw their children. The race of Angora is the elegant cat; furthermore, it is intimate to the human.
good job, It seems that this text has quite detail description and has good degree of unity. keep writing, your writing is getting better.
DeleteI think your descriptive text was very nice and interesting to read Sri Wahyuni.The structure of the text from the general to the specific is very good, how did you explain what its Turkish Angora cat in general to a detailed explanation of how the body structure of the Turkish Angora cat can made me imagine how the Turkish Angora looked like. Hopefuly you can write another example. Regards (Ni Made Deo Rizvontia)- The Student of UNMAS-DPS
DeleteVery good Sri Wahyuni. can you give another example of descriptive text? I look forward reading it.
ReplyDeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
DeleteI find that the beautiful Kuta Bali text is interesting, but there is also some grammar mistakes and deficient choice of words that already explained very clearly by my friends, instead i have another example of descriptive text, it's not as good as the other example so I hope that my friends will help me to find the mistakes and fix it.
ReplyDeleteCat Cafe 'Nekorobi'
Cat cafe Nekorobi is a unique concept cafe in Higashiikebukuro, Japan. In this cafe we can enjoy our time with our feline friends. But, before we get inside there are several rules we must obey. Such as washing or disinfecting our hands, put our belonging into the lockers and swicth to an approved footwear. When we come into the cafe, the cats will notice the guest appearances through the double glass doors. Inside the cafe, we can see a lot of cat toys all over the place, it can be use to get the cats attention. There is also the cats house and cushions for the cats to sleep.
At the corner side of the cafe, there are snacks and drinks vending machine. We can get the snacks and drinks from the vending machine for free. In the cafe we can the cats are happily doing whatever they want.Some kitten are playing along with it friends and the other cats are just sleep or mooping about. We can play with them, petting them and took a picture. But, we can't use flash camera and if the cats was sleeping, we can't disturb them or try to wake it up.
During the day the cats in the cafe are mostly just sleep, however if we visiting at the meal time, the staff will give us small packet of cat food and we can feed the cats. The Cat Cafe Nekorobi is known to be the best cat cafe in Japan, so in the weekend many people come to get relaxation from the stress.
(Ni Kadek Juana Ari- student of UNMAS DPS)
In my opinion,the descriptive text about The Beautiful Kuta Bali, exactly was very good and make the reader interested to go there.But, it would be better if the autor explains a lot more about things that are interesting in Kuta, such as explaining the things in Kuta beach and besides surfing what we can do in Kuta beach, in order to make the descriptive text more interesting. So, it just my opinion based on my understanding of that text.
ReplyDeleteI have one descriptive text about Taman Ayun.Exactly this text is not really better than the text above. I just want to share my descriptive text. If there are many mistake, please give me solution to make it better.
Taman Ayun
Taman Ayun is the one of beautiful garden in Bali. It is located in Badung regency, exactly in Mengwi. It just take 40 minutes from Denpasar. In Taman Ayun there is a beautiful temple which surrounded by fountains. In front of the garden, there are many shops taht selling crafts and souvenirs. To get into the garden area we only need to pay ten thousand rupiah. On the right side of Taman Ayun, has provided a large parking area. The beautiful view around the temple at Taman Ayun make visitors be attracted to visit again.
(Ida Ayu Ratna Aryanti-Student of UNMAS DENPASAR)
The text is very interesting,but many new vocabularies that are found,like "sun worshipers and party goers" .perhaps,the text can explained more details such as how about situation in kuta beach,in the eyes of cleanness,pedestrians,guide,or surfing training. It will make the text more interesting and tourists can get more information. I have a description text can gave some information the places that can be visited in bali
ReplyDeleteBali
Bali is situated between the island of java to the west and the island of lombok to the east. This island is widely regarded by visitors as the ultimate island.
Bali is 145 km long and 80 km wide. When people come to Bali's capital city, Denpasar it is well worth to visit Bali National Museum. Most of the exhibits now have labels in English explaining their history, origin and significance. Visiting Pasar Badung is also recommended. It is known as the town's largest market, housed in a three-storey building. Visitors can buy unique handicrafts in reasonable prices.
Bali is also known for its beaches. Bali's most popular beaches are kuta,legian,and jimbaran beach. Kuta and Legian Beaches are paradise for surfers and famous for their funky nightlife zone. Jimbaran beachm on the other hand, is quiet and tranquil. Many visitors are always exited to see sunset in these stunning beaches.
(Adelia Fajrina AInur -student of UNMAS DPS)
in my opinion for the text that has been read is very interesting, because the text explain about Kuta that is being of spot resort in bali, exctly in south kuta. the text makes as know more about kuta
ReplyDeleteTanah Lot
tanah lot isone of the tourist reseurce in Bali. is located in Tabanan regency, about 25 km from Denpasar. if we went to go there we can carterpublick transfortation. if we carter publick transfortation, it a cost around Rp. 10.000/person. if you carter taxi or bemo, it cost around Rp.100.000 until Rp. 150.000. it depent how clever you to begain. yuo can see beautiful tample on the rock inside the sea. araund 6.P.M. when you can see a beautiful sunset.
( I Kadek Agus Candra Septiana-student of UNMAS DPS. NPM:0106)
My comment for the text is very interesting for readers, including me but it doesn't coherent about the paragraph, actually it's very useful for the foreign people who don't understand of kuta resort, it can help because it describe of kuta, back to the paragraph that has been made by mr that the text is real made not to coherent, it aims for collegians more critical about the paragraph, i think all is enough for comment the subject. it doesn't coherent only, for the sentences, are easy to be understood. By; your collegian : Elgi Pradana (0097)
ReplyDeleteAnd i have one decriptive text,
The tittle is "Lumajang"
Lumajang is one of the towns in east java, indonesia. It's located in central of east java, in the north is near probolinggo, in the south is near south java sea, in the east is near jember, and in the west is near malang. Lumajang has many destinations but many people don't recognize anymore about the destinations. Lumajang is called as banana town, in javanese called "kuto gedang" it's called as it is because Lumajang town produces many kinds of banana. And the banana can be gift brought back from the trip.
In Lumajang, you can find many destinations, one of them is cuban sewu or in english is "thousand water fall" the location is in pronojiwo district, it's about 3 hours from the town. Cuban sewu is being of stop destination in lumajng because it provides the beautiful view from under and top. You can see the water fall from top but it needs more struggle to reach in the top because the ways are difficult. Or you can also see the water fall from the under, it doesn't need much struggling to reach there because the ways are easy and has been provided by the government to reach through the under. Moreover, you can stay overnight to see the beautiful sunrise. But you have to rent the house for one night about 100-300 rupiahs, it depends on the facilities. Then want to visit lumajang, come and enjoy lumajang, wonderful indonesia.
n my opinion from the text of The Beautiful Kuta Beach, it is very interesting to read, and from this text we get as much information about Kuta. And, there are some word that I don’t understand like “its world renowned surf.....” , “sun worshipers.....” , “party goers....” and “shopping mecca...”. It is new words for me and it can add my vocabulary. And about the sentence “Kuta in addition to being the sunset number one , is also the center of night life activities.” My opinion the sentence change with “In addition, Kuta being the the nice view number one to see sunset, it is also the center of night life activities.”
ReplyDeleteI have one descriptive text about my friend,Dita.
My Friend,Dita
I have a friend. Her name is Dita. She has long hair, white skin and she use brown glasses. Dita is very kind and smart girl. When she was Vocational High School, she got highest score in the school. Dita has many pets in her home like cats and dogs because she loves pet. She likes watch japanese cartoon. Beside that, Dita loves to cook. When the holiday came, Dita invited me and her friends to came to her home and she made some food for our. It’s very delicious food. And then, Dita has a brown eyes and her cheeck is cute when she smiles. Dita never arrogant with everything she has. I was very lucky to have a friend like Dita.
(Ayu Ratih Kusumawati-Student of UNMAS Denpasar)
In my opinion from the text of The Beautiful Kuta Beach, it is very interesting to read, and from this text we get as much information about Kuta. And, there are some word that I don’t understand like “its world renowned surf.....” , “sun worshipers.....” , “party goers....” and “shopping mecca...”. It is new words for me and it can add my vocabulary. And about the sentence “Kuta in addition to being the sunset number one , is also the center of night life activities.” My opinion the sentence change with “In addition, Kuta being the the nice view number one to see sunset, it is also the center of night life activities.”
ReplyDeleteI have one descriptive text about my friend,Dita.
My Friend,Dita
I have a friend. Her name is Dita. She has long hair, white skin and she use brown glasses. Dita is very kind and smart girl. When she was Vocational High School, she got highest score in the school. Dita has many pets in her home like cats and dogs because she loves pet. She likes watch japanese cartoon. Beside that, Dita loves to cook. When the holiday came, Dita invited me and her friends to came to her home and she made some food for our. It’s very delicious food. And then, Dita has a brown eyes and her cheeck is cute when she smiles. Dita never arrogant with everything she has. I was very lucky to have a friend like Dita.
In my opinion, this test which is titled “The Beautiful Kuta Beach” is very good. However, I think this text is not unified enough and in some sentences there are some grammar mistakes also. In the first paragraph of this text, I think it has two main ideas. Those are “Kuta is the exciting tourist area on the southern part of Bali” and “Kuta is one of the world’s most famous beaches”. I think it will be better for writer only to use one of those sentences, so it will not make the readers confused while reading this text. In the second paragraph for the first sentence also, it will be better if the writer delete the first sentence because it has no relation with the rest sentences. Maybe the writer can change the main idea by using this sentence “ There are so many places that you can visit in Kuta”. Meanwhile, for the first sentence in paragraph two, it should be the first sentence in paragraph three. Because the rest senteces in paragraph three discuss about night clubs, so it will be related each other with that sentence. Therefore, paragraph three will be like this “In addition, Kuta is not only being the most popular sunset site, but it is also the center of night life activities. There are many night clubs along Legian street and...”. For the grammar mistakes, I think they have been explained well by my friends. I only found the last sentence that has not been explained yet, so in this sentence it must be like this “Kuta is one of interesting places to visit in Bali”. I have learnt that after “one of” it should be followed by plural noun. I have an example of descriptive text, i hope this text will be good enough to read.
ReplyDeleteLebih Beach
Lebih is one of the famous and wonderful destinations in Bali. It is located on by pass Ida Bagus Mantra street in Lebih Village, Gianyar. Lebih is known by tourist because of its panorama and local sea food. This beach has black and clean sand, it makes tourist comfortable because there is no rubbish and they can sit or lay on the sand. Lebih also attracts the surfers by its big waves for surfing. There are several traditional boats which makes the view more wonderful than before. There are a lot of plants in this place, so there is no problem if you want to visit this place even at noon. Therefore, this beach also known as “Kuta beach in Gianyar regency”. Lebih is not known only because of its panorama, however, its local food also. Many kinds of local sea food are served, including Sate Languan, fried fish, fish balls, pepes ikan, and many others, and all of them are really cheap. Visitors can enjoy the panorama while sitting under the tree and eating delicious food. There is no reason for tourist not to visit this beach because it is an amazing beach that Gianyar has ever had.
(Dewa Ayu Sri Esti Lestari - a student of Unmas Denpasar)
Actually I was interested to read this descriptive text which is titled “The Beautiful Kuta Bali”. But I think the topic so generally, the author’s can be modify his topic be specifically. And there’s several sentences is not unity where there is no supporting detail from the after sentences. For the example in 9 and 10 lines. And the author’s should be carefully with the punctuation, for the example in 2 lines.
ReplyDeleteI have one descriptive text about ‘’The Anaconda‘’
The anaconda is the largest snake in the world, also known as the water boa; this giant meat eater lives in swampy areas of tropical South America. It spends a lot time in shallow water hidden from unsuspecting prey. Anacondas are related to boa constrictors. They give birth to 20 to 40 baby snakes at one time. Like all snakes, anacondas are cold blooded. They have the same temperature as their environment. They continue to grow all their lives, getting bigger and bigger each year. The longest anaconda ever found was 11.4 meters long there are probably even bigger anacondas that have not been seen. Anacondas are greenish brown with a double row of back oval spots on the back and smaller white marking on the sides.
(I Gusti Agung Ayu Inten - a student of Unmas Denpasar)
Actually I was interested to read this descriptive text which is titled “The Beautiful Kuta Bali”. But I think the topic so generally, the author’s can be modify his topic be specifically. And there’s several sentences is not unity where there is no supporting detail from the after sentences. For the example in 9 and 10 lines. And the author’s should be carefully with the punctuation, for the example in 2 lines.
ReplyDeleteI have one descriptive text about ‘’The Anaconda‘’
The anaconda is the largest snake in the world, also known as the water boa; this giant meat eater lives in swampy areas of tropical South America. It spends a lot time in shallow water hidden from unsuspecting prey. Anacondas are related to boa constrictors. They give birth to 20 to 40 baby snakes at one time. Like all snakes, anacondas are cold blooded. They have the same temperature as their environment. They continue to grow all their lives, getting bigger and bigger each year. The longest anaconda ever found was 11.4 meters long there are probably even bigger anacondas that have not been seen. Anacondas are greenish brown with a double row of back oval spots on the back and smaller white marking on the sides.
(I Gusti Agung Ayu Inten - a student of Unmas Denpasar)
After I read the descriptive above, I think this is nice descriptive text, but I have some comments for this text. Firstly, for the structure of the sentence, for me it is quite difficult to understand. For example the sentence "Kuta is one of the world's most famous beaches." In my opinion I prefer to use "Kuta is the popular one beach in the world". Secondly, the writer use the difficult word so i should open my dictionary to know what the meaning, but it is not bad because of that I knew the new word and new vocabulary for me. Thirdly, in my opinion the writer can give or describe the condition of Kuta beach first, for example "Kuta beach is very beautiful and clean in Bali." That's all about my comments, overall this text is very good, coherent and unity text.
ReplyDeleteAnd I have an example of descriptive text. Descriptive text isn't always for place but can also for human/person, animals, fruits, things, etc. Here I give the example of human/person.
My Favorite Actor Song Jong Ki
I have a favorite actor and host from South Korea, his name is Song Jong Ki. He was born on September 19, 1985. I like him so much because he is very handsome man with short and black hair, white skin and he has baby face with pointed nose, thick eyebrow and small lips. His body is thin and tall. Besides that, another reason why I like him is his acting in role play in drama on television or in film is awesome. Not only in drama, his performance when he carries the show or become a host is very good. He rose to fame in historical drama Sungkyunkwan Scandal and the variety show Running Man. Song Jong Ki played his first TV leading role in the melodrama The Innocent Man. He has also starred in feature films in a film A Werewolf Boy. After his mandatory military service, he became a leading role in drama who are well-known in the year 2016, Descendant of the Sun. He never disappoints his fans and Song Jong Ki always been my favorite actor.
That’s my example of descriptive text, I know that my text is not perfect so you can give or provide comments to my text. Thanks :)
(I Dw Ayu Agung Radhaswati- a student of Unmas Denpasar)
My opinion the descriptive text about The Beautiful Kuta Bali is very interesting to read, but there are some structure of sentence for me it is quite difficult to understand. for example in the second paragraph the fourth sentence. the sentence is "The busiest time for all night clubs are around from 22.00 and will close (until down) " I prefer to use sentence The busiest time for all night clubs are around from 22.00 and will close until dawn or the writer attach closing time the night clubs.
ReplyDeleteI have one descriptive text about Aling - Aling Waterfall
The Aling-Aling Waterfall is probably not popular. it is located in Sambangan village, Buleleng Regency. it is about 80 kilometers from Denpasar. in this waterfall has a height of about 35 meters. there are some foreign tourists come holiday to aling - aling waterfall, because the waterfall has its own uniqueness which peak of fall split into two adjoining waterfall. under in the waterfall there are it is basin pool deep enough about 4 meters. you will find beautiful panorama in the aling - aling waterfall it is very interesting to your holiday.
(Ni wyn Surya Sri Rahayu - a student of Unmas Dps )
In my opinion after i read about "The Beautiful Kuta Bali" actually, this text is coherent and interesting to read so we can also imagine how gorgeous Kuta. But I found there are some mistakes that should be changes to make the readers more understand about what the writer means. The sentences "Kuta is one of the world's most famous beaches", I think it can change to "Kuta beach is one of famous beaches in the world" maybe can make the readers can easier to get the point. The sentences "It first attracted Western surfers with its world renowned surf break followed closely behind by sun worshipers and party goers attracted to its wide stretches of white sandy beach i think it’s not clear and it will be make the readers confusing about the meaning. I think change to " Western surfers known Kuta Beach as one of the famous surf destination in the world which people can enjoy the sun and also party goers attracted cause of white sandy beach" it will make the readers more understand. I think that's all my opinion that i can tells based on "The Beautiful Kuta Bali"
ReplyDeleteI have one descriptive text that i want to share, but i think this text needs more improvement and comments to make it unified. This text is about one of my favorite thing in my life and it's a "Guitar"
Guitar is a musical instrument that used in old period and still existing in this modern era. Mostly, a guitar is formed by six strings. A guitar has many parts such as neck and body as two main parts. In the neck, we can find tuners, frets, and fret board. On the body, we can find bridge, saddle, sound board and sound hole. Guitar is divided into two types. The first is acoustic guitar and the second is electric guitar which is produce a different sound. The sound that produced by acoustic is more smooth and the electric is coarse. In playing guitar, normally we using both of our hands. Firstly, we place our right hand on the body in order that we can pick the strings. Secondly, our left hand is placed in the neck and use our fingers to press the frets and determine which note we need to play. Normally, tuning of a guitar is E, B, G, D, A, E ordered from the first to the sixth string and we can also use the tuners to tune or change the tuning. In addition, there are so many style of playing guitar such as; fingerstyle, fingerpicking, rhythm guitar, lead guitar, and full speed. However, it's depend by us to use what style that we want to use, because in playing guitar we needs to enjoy the harmony when we playing.
Bagus Herry Wirawan- Student Of UNMAS Denpasar
After I read the descriptive text above, I think that text is interesting to read. Because it can make the reader know well about Kuta. But there are some word that make me little bit difficult to understand the text because the writer add some new word there. It doesn't matter and I appreciate it because it can add my vocabulary. Beside, there are some sentence that make me can't get the point quickly and it already explain by my friend before.
ReplyDeleteI also have an example of descriptive text, I think its not a perfect text. If you found some mistakes there, i hope you want to fix it.
Gunung Payung Beach
Gunung Payung Beach is one of the beautiful beaches in Bali especially in Kuta Selatan. It is located in Kutuh Village, Kuta Selatan. Approximately 25 km fr GWK Cultural Park. It's really beautiful beach because we can see the view of the beach from the hill. From the hill we also see how wide the beach and the white sand which is glisten by the sun. However, to reach this beach, we must go downstairs through the hill. On the way, we can see many trees are standing there and the green grassland that refresh our eyes. After arrive, we can do some activity like swimming or take some pictures. In addition, some tourist are surfing there. But remember that we should keep clean in this place. And this place its really nice to visit by the local people or tourist.
( A.A Made Adi Dwi Arini - Student of UNMAS Denpasar)
Overall, the descriptive text about "The Beautiful Kuta Bali" was interesting. But i found some grammatical mistakes, also the words that have used by the writer. so I couldn't catch the topic very well. Like using the title as "The Beautiful Kuta Bali" I know what does it mean, but I think it's better to use "The Beautiful of Kuta Bali".
ReplyDeleteI have one example of descriptive text. it's about my Betta fish (in Indonesian: Ikan Cupang). If there're some mistaken you found, I hope you are able to fix it.
My Loyal Betta Fish
I have a beautiful white Betta fish. I named him Kuan. Kuan in Chinese name means no worries. So I will have no worries as long as I adopt him. His body is white and looks like transparent. But when his body got the shine from the sun, you will see green ocean color on his body. He has long pelvic (ventral) fins. He also has large anal fin. His dorsal fin is long, large and little bit sharp. Kuan is a half moon type in Betta fish. So, when you played with him, his caudal (tail) fin looks like a half moon. He really loves to eat ants. He is also a loyal Betta fish I ever had. He's very different from other Betta fish I've ever had before. Whenever I came home, he looked at my face and showed me his beautiful large half moon fin. Whenever I played piano and chose John Legend "All of Me", his face looked flat, acted like gloomy and swam around slowly. Without showing his beautiful half moon fin. Besides, whenever I played Demi Lovato "Let It Go" in Frozen movie, he looked happy, swam around faster and showed his beautiful half moon fin. I think he really understood the rhythm of music. I love his loyal character!
(Sonia Putri Purbawati - A 4th Semester Student of Mahasaraswati Denpasar University)
I have read your text above. personally, your text is good. it is using some nice words and it is coherent, however it needs some refines and needs some improvements. you have to make sure of your grammatical. otherwise, the reader will didn't understand of what your text means. some of your sentences seems like using Balinese English which is only arrange word by word. therefore, there needs some refinements.
ReplyDeleteI have an example for descriptive text. because I live in Tampaksiring, I will use the topic of tourism entitle
"Tirta Empul Temple"
One of famous temples in Bali is Tirta Empul Temple which is located in the middle of Bali. this place is situated about 40km, northeast from Denpasar city. this temple has known as a place for spiritual cleaning. this temple has spring water that being used as holy water for various religion ceremony in Bali. there will be so many showers and each shower has it's own name and spiritual function. everyday, there are a lot of tourists from around the world come only to see the holy spring water and see balinese people doing a religion ceremony. in addition, they want to experience sensational feeling and get the blessings at the same time. so Tirta Empul temple is a gorgeous place to visit. (I Wayan Uis Widahana - 4th semester student English Faculty of Mahasaraswati Denpasar)
The beautiful of Kuta Bali is beautiful topic that we can use to attractive the reader to visit that place. But, when we make a description text, the writer should be able to use a correct grammar and the correct generic structure of the descriptive text. In my opinion, overall the text above is good. But, when I read overall the text, there are many mistakes that I found. Like in grammatical structure about the title, the writer should put the preposition in the middle of “The Beautiful Kuta Bali. So, the correct one is “The Beautiful of Kuta Bali. It’s easier to understand it. we also can make a simple paragraph, it’s like paragraph number three,” Kuta is the one of famous beaches in the world.” That sentence is easier to understand. Thereafter, when you make paragraph you should able to make a coherence paragraph. It will be make the reader more understand about your text.
ReplyDeleteSo, now I have one example of Descriptive Paragraph
My Cat is Bony
My cat is the beautiful cat that I have, the name is Bony. He has thick fur which is black. His eye is big brown eyes. He has long tail. When he was walking, he likes fiddling his tail.
He likes lying on the ground until his body dirty. Bony love eating fish, notably catfish. He didn’t like a person, who disturbs him when he was eating. He also didn’t like a mouse. If he saw a mouse he would run and hide himself in the house.
In addition Bony love playing ball in the backyard with my brother. He was funny when he stealthy behind of a mango tree. He is a cleaver cat that I love.
(Ni Luh Putu Sujani,4th semester-student of Mahasaraswati Denpasar University.